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home : opinion : opinion September 27, 2022

7/17/2022 12:58:00 AM
Mama's Adventure
Written July 14, 2022

Judge Rembert
Guest Columnist


It was 1964...
Columbia, S.C...
Her Mama's husband, Jim was out of town...
Navy Reserve in Charleston, S.C...
Charleston for the weekend...

Mama was famous for locks...
She put locks on everything...
Come night she when into her bedroom...
She locked the door knob lock...
She locked the lock she had installed on the door...
She checked the 45 that was on the headboard...
Headboard was bookcase headboard...
She got in the bed...

She quietly lay there and thought back...
Were the doors all locked...
Did she forget anything...
OH...Oh NO...
Now Jim had guns in his gun case in front room...
OH NO...That will not work...

She got up...
Unlocked the locks on the bedroom door...
She began to clean out the gun case...
One shot gun, two Winchester-22 rifles...
Then she got the Colt-38 and the Colt Cobra...
Then there were Jim's hunting knives...
Someone could break in without a gun or knife...
Open the gun safe and get a gun...

Well now she has them all stacked...
Stacked neatly in her bedroom...
She locks the locks on the bedroom door...
She was happy now...

She covered up and smiled...
Almost asleep something woke her...
Now she sat straight up in her bed...
Holding the 45 in both hands...
Pointed at the door...
Looking straight between her feet at the door...

Was someone on the other side of the door...
Now being from the South there was her bra...
Bra was hanging on the door knob...
She said to herself, “If that bra moves I am
going to shoot.”

Now she lived on a busy road...
She thought the bra moved...
She emptied the 45 into the door...
The 45 made so much noise...
Did she shoot someone...

She is scared to open the door...
So she calls the county sheriff's office...
They send out four officers...
The doorbell rang...

Officer #1 introduced Officer # 2, 3 and 4...
She said he and Officer #2 would check...
Check the house inside...
Officers #3 and 4 would check outside...

Officer #1 went down the hall...
Moments later Office #1 returned...
“Mrs. Moss I do not know why...
Why you called us…
You had enough in your bedroom
to hold off 20 people until breakfast.
We will be leaving now.”
Mama thanked them for coming...

Now the facts had to be faced...
Jim had to be told...
Jim had to replace the door...
Fix the floor...
Fix the new furnace air return...
Throw away the destroyed bra...

Jim was told not to tell me ever-ever...
Two day later my husband dropped by...
He went to throw away a drink can...
Open the trash can and there it was...
“What happened to this bra???”
Well folks I have been telling this story...
Telling it for years...
Mama was right...

More About Judge Rembert: WWII made Judge an only child when her half-brother was killed in the war. She lived in a tiny town in South Carolina until she was eight and her Mother went to work. She was sent to a boarding school in Belmont, N.C. From that time on she has lived back and forth in the two Carolinas. They are both home. She was born dyslexic and did not know what the problem was or that it had a name until she was about 45. She was unable to spell so she never put words on paper until she was 65 and had a computer with spell check. She comes from a long line of story tellers and a Mother that taught her much by telling stories. Stories about people and how they faced life and how they dealt with problems. If you read what she writes you may hear her Mother and her Grandmother talking to her. She is thrilled to know that anyone reads her words and finds them interesting. Oh, she is 75 now and she now makes her home in Aiken, S.C. If you like Judge’s writings or would like to comment on them let her know by emailing judgerembert73@gmail.com.



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