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Lincoln Herald | Lincolnton, NC

home : religion : religion January 24, 2022

10/7/2021 11:21:00 AM
Burden Vs. Blessing

Lacey Leonhardt
Lincoln Herald Columnist

I’ve been angry with God.

There’s some honesty for you. Some imperfection and ugly truth. The hard part of faith.

I walked away from something recently. Something I dreamed of, worked for, and loved. And then as life does, it reminded me I don’t have the time for it right now. And I immediately became angry with God. I haven’t been able to wrap my head around how he could give me a gift and opportunity, to then show me I’m not ready.

Something I felt I was doing truly because he wanted me to. And then the chaos and reality of life set in and what I thought was my blessing became my burden.

One that I stressed about, complained weekly, and let exhaust me. And so I walked away and became angry.

I won’t lie, I have let it defeat me, depress me and make me question not only my faith in him but my gift as well. I have been so angry with him. Trying to understand why he would give me something and then take it away.

And then I realized, he never intended for my blessing to be a burden. And until my life can create room for it, it will remain with him.

Having a relationship with God is not always easy and quote worthy. It is not always happy and understanding. We post a lot about the good parts, but let’s also talk about the bad. I feel in the past weeks he was saying “I know you’re angry with me, but you’ll see.” And that’s the beauty of a relationship with him too. The best part. The unconditional love and Grace. Always ahead of me and yet beside of me too.

So I’ll be here, when he’s ready to give me back my blessing. And I’ll be ready. I’ll pour into the blessing instead of carrying it as a burden.

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